


Rom-Comm Goes Wrong

by XtaticPearl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Clint Barton & Tony Stark Friendship, F/M, Hurt Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Miscommunication, Missions Gone Wrong, Misunderstandings, Protective Clint Barton, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-22 23:03:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7457242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XtaticPearl/pseuds/XtaticPearl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Steve have been friends with benefits/dating/god knows what for a couple of months when Tony finally gathers enough confidence to confess his love for Steve. When he takes a really bad hit during a mission and gets stranded with Clint, he decides to just go out and say it. Unfortunately, it doesn't bring the result they expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In My Last Breath

"So, I'm gonna do it today"

Clint didn't pause before shooting down two bots before shooting a look at the flying red and gold blur.

"Do what?" he asked as he drew another arrow, waiting for Tony to bring the targets in line.

"Learn to hula-hoop," Tony shot back sarcastically as he did an elaborate set of loops through the air, "What do you think, Birdbrain?"

"I think you'll do better with a dick hoop," Clint sassed back, letting the arrow fly seconds after Tony had cleared the path. Reaching back for the next arrow, he snorted at the growl he got from his private line, "Okay, okay, geez, cool your metal panties Iron Ass. So, you're gonna do it today. Congrats?"

"Great Barton, see if I make you any more cool arrows," Tony groused as he baited another ugly bot-alien hybrid, "You're the worst friend ever."

"Wait, we're friends?" Clint mused mock-innocently and smirked when a string of eloquent curses came through the comm, "Dude, what did my mother ever do to you? Okay, fine, fine, calm the hot rod. So...you thought about how you wanna do it?"

Tony was about to open his mouth when Friday beeped his alert that his two minutes of switching off the common comm was over. "Urgh, back to common comm," he muttered and Clint chuckled in response. Tony switched his comm and cleared his throat before launching into a cheerful voice, "Heeey, plebs of the spandex-world. Little busy here, saving this part of the city and all -"

"Keep your damn comm on," Steve barked and Tony winced at the thinly veiled anxiety that Steve was disguising in the order, "Clint, get off your ass and cover 32nd. Stark, cover Barton. Natasha and Sam are taking over your spot."

"Roger, Rogers," Tony shot back and Clint echoed the same as Tony swooped in to pick up the archer.

"And Tony?" Steve prompted tightly and Tony was so frickin tempted to bite back but he knew that Steve was already stressed with the duration the battle was taking. Not to mention the part of their unfinished fight this morning where Tony might have said things he didn't actually mean and Steve might have been a tad hurt.

"Comm on, got it," Tony replied to the unspoken order and pretended he didn't hear the exhale on the other side of the comm, "C'mon Merida, let's take you to a Ball."

"Oh, my Prince Charming," Clint replied dead-panned as he was carried away by the armour to the location they were instructed to go to.

*****

Tony and Steve were maddeningly the most fascinating juxtaposition the Avengers had ever met. When they got along, it was as though they had been created to fit together seamlessly. When they disagreed, they were as similar as fire and water. When they ignored each other, it was like living in a cemetery and when they made up, it was like everybody was in a teen romance movie. Natasha called for a bet after the first month of the Avengers forming that they would end up killing each other some day. Bruce had calmly differed and said that they would end up finding "another more carnal method to settle their...aggressive urges". Clint hadn't thought twice before siding with Bruce. Natasha had shot him dirty looks for an entire month after that but then Rhodey had sided with her, so she had become smug.

Thor had sided with Bruce and Sam hadn't even considered Bruce's side sane. Which had meant that Pepper was to be their tie-breaker. She had taken one look at Steve and Tony before smirking at Natasha deviously and siding with Bruce.

Clint hadn't won such an easy bet before and he really had to thank that for his first kiss with Bruce.  _That_ had been worth Natasha's dark looks for the following week.

The point was that Steve and Tony had finally given in to the inevitable and had scarred Friday and an eavesdropping Clint's mind ten months ago when they had got it on in the rec room. Rhodey had avoided the rec room couch like the plague for an entire week and Sam had avoided Clint for the same time but everybody had been too relieved by the new development to begrudge both their leaders. Four months down the line, they had come to feel more secure as a team, knowing that now Steve and Tony would resolve their problems in a better way than before. Two months after that Natasha had confided in Clint that she couldn't have found a better person for Steve even in all her matchmaking attempts. Clint had been warned on pain of death to never reveal that but he knew that everyone else would agree.

Two months after that, they had found James Bucky Barnes. Natasha got on brilliantly with him along with Clint, who liked having another sharp-shooter on the team. Tony definitely not so much for one month, after which he learnt to see beyond the Winter Soldier and understand that Bucky Barnes wasn't all that bad. The others were happy to welcome another addition to the team, especially when they knew that Bucky had gone through the worst of times and deserved respect and kindness.

In between all this and more, Clint had somehow become Tony's close friend with snark bonus. They both had their insecurities and childhood issues that messed them up many times, and they both had incredible communication issues when it came to their emotions. They never really spoke 'heart to heart' but they instinctively got each other, sometimes more than the others caught on. 

It was because of this unspoken friendship that Clint had been the only one to know about Tony falling in love with Steve. Everybody knew that Tony dated frequently but when he fell in love, that was a pretty serious deal. Contrary to myth, he was monogamous and loyal to the one he loved, and dedicated everything to that person. To know that the person was Steve had made Clint proud because he was sure that nobody would stay by Tony as well as Steve. They had weathered the worst of storms, stormed out, lashed out, kept secrets, saved each other and done everything dramatic under the sun, all together and to each other. Yet, they always came back to each other, like homing devices attached to their hearts.

It was frankly nauseatingly sappy but Clint knew better than to say that out loud right now, when he  _knew_ that Tony was already anxious about his big reveal. He knew how difficult it would be for Tony to get over his mountain of insecurities to actually admit that he deserved love and that Steve should hear about his love. 

Which was why he absolutely hated this moment. He simply, completely, utterly hated this moment.

"You really need to learn some other way to save the day, asshole," he bit out as he crouched near a limp lying Iron Man, hands working fast to find the clasp, "This whole near-death thing is getting  _old_."

"Y'er old," Tony slurred from his head wound and Clint tightened his grasp on Tony's pulse before relaxing and keeping time, "Clint, I..."

"Shut up, just shut up and let me work," the archer snapped sharply but he did have a bloody grin on his face. If Tony was still sassing then he was still fighting. Didn't mean that Clint liked their situation though.

They had been rounding up the act, almost through when Tony had discovered that the bots were a distraction for a concentrated energy beam that was threatening to open up a portal. Clint hated portals but the only one who hated it more than him was Tony Stark. Portals were the bane of their existence and Tony had shot a sharp message over to the others that he was going to shut it down, which would mean that they had to keep their electronic gadgets off if they didn't want them fried. The last portal shtick had taught them all that bit.

What they hadn't expected was the building they were in to collapse on itself or a stray bot to come up behind Tony in the last minute to push him  _into_ the fucking energy beam. Clint had been pushed down by a huge mass of rubble. Tony had almost been fried completely. They had both managed to shut the portal though.

Clint had a couple of broken bones, a seriously messed up right leg and some cracks to his ribs. Tony...well, Tony needed medical assistance  _yesterday_.

"What the fuck is wrong with my comm?!" Clint growled when he tried for the tenth time to get to the rest of the team, "Shit shit shit! I think my comm got fried! Fuck!"

"Language," Tony gasped on a wet breath and Clint choked back a panicked, hysterical laugh because this was supposed to be Steve here. Steve was supposed to be here with Tony right now. Steve, Bruce, Tasha, anyone who could handle Tony and save him.

"Shit! Even Friday's down. Your entire suit is down! Tony? Tony, you listening?" Clint tried moving Tony's head to face him but a small gush of blood stained his hand and he immediately stilled, cursing himself, "Sorry, sorry! Okay, Okay, Tones? Dude, I need you to check your comm, alright? I need to check if your comm is working. Buddy, you hear me? I need to check your comm."

"Steve.." Tony rasped, eyes drooping and Clint pressed his hand desperately, keeping him awake.

"Hey, hey, no, don't sleep!" he implored and stood up on painful legs to hobble to the other side, facing Tony properly when he crouched next to his face, "Steve'll be here, alright. He's Cap. Cap always comes for you, remember? It's fucking creepy, but I think he has a Tony beacon. He'll be here and then Bruce'll be here too and we'll get you to the medical, got it? Hey, no sleeping! Stay with me, asshole!"

Clint removed his own armor and then pulled off his undershirt in one painful but smooth move. It wasn't the best option but it was the only one he had and he used it to keep pressure on Tony's side which was now bleeding too. The armor had dented horribly and was digging into Tony but any move to remove it by force would involve moving Tony. Who might have wounds that would worsen if that was done. Clint pushed down his panic at that thought. He needed to be sensible, to be present and useful. 

He needed to call for help.

Gently, trying not to jostle Tony's head, he kept up a string of inane talk as he removed the small comm from the genius' ear. Tony whimpered at that a bit before he bit his lip, like he had shown vulnerability by doing that. Clint ignored it and kept up his talk, being as obnoxious as he could so that Tony could sass back.

He fiddled with the comm for a minute before he got the line open.

"Got it!" he crowed and saw Tony's eyes relax a bit, "Cap, Tasha, anyone listening, we need evac and medic stat. Tony's down and bleeding out -"

"Exaggeration," Tony muttered on a groan and Clint shot him a warning look.

"We're stuck under the collapsed building. Get here on the double!" he said clearly into the comm as it was kept open, between Tony and Clint. When there was static on the other line, Clint repeated himself sharper, praying to any God-friends of Thor to just get the damn message across. He fiddled with the comm again, running his fingers over it like it was a radio, ignoring Tony's jabber about not treating his tech like trash. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon...

When Steve's voice filtered through, Clint almost sang praises of the angels.

"Cap! Cap, you listening?" he barked and Tony looked wide-eyed at Steve's voice on the other side of the line.

 _"Clint? Tony?!_  Steve's voice came through and Clint saw Tony's body relax fluidly. Before he could speak though, Tony took over and Clint couldn't begrudge him that, not when he knew that Steve could calm him down better than Clint.

"Steve? Hey, Cap!" Tony slurred and Clint focused on stemming the blood flow so that he wouldn't have to stare at Tony's love-struck look. He knew that the genius wouldn't want to show more vulnerability than he was already in and let him take control. "So, listen, y'know that thing? The thing I have for you...I had it all planned out..."

 _"Shut up!"_ Steve shouted and Clint stilled at the same moment that Tony did. Why was Steve yelling at Tony? Clint risked a quick look at the fallen man but simply offered an encouraging smile when Tony frowned. It was just fear, Clint reasoned, Steve was just afraid that Tony was doing the last wish talk.

"Listen," Tony tried again and bit back a cough before he continued, "I'm sorry about this morning. I know, I know you care and...just sorry, okay? And I just wanted to tell you that..."

 _"I don't care"_ Steve spat and Clint now looked up completely, frowning at the comm and then at Tony, who looked stunned but quickly schooled his expression, taking a deep breath and trying again.

"I love you" he said quietly and Clint shot him a thumbs-up weakly, hoping that Tony could keep up and that Steve would just get here soon, "I know that you've been patient with me and I can't...you said it such a long time ago...I just...I love you too, Steve. That was the surprise I was hiding this morning. I thought we'd have a nice dinner and then I'd tell you...I guess this works too, right?"

 _"No fucking way"_ Steve's voice came tight and angry. Clint breathed in sharply and tried to catch Tony's eyes to tell him not to take that seriously but even he knew that it won't work. Tony was staring at the comm in shock and looking paler than he was a minute ago.

"No way?" the genius echoed "Steve...do you not love me?"

 _"I said no, didn't I?"_ Steve's voice had never been this cold and Clint stretched his hand to shut the comm off altogether. Jesus! This was so not needed right now, he thought as he watched Tony's face almost crumple.

"You love someone else," Tony said with a stunned expression and Clint wanted to thunder at him to not just accept the impossible but then Steve spoke and Clint's blood ran cold.

 _"Bucky..."_ Steve sounded pained and Tony sucked in a wet gasp, shuddering violently enough to make Clint take charge again. The archer snapped out of his own shock to grab the comm and bark into it.

"Steve!" he spat and tried to keep Tony's gaze as he controlled his anger, "He'd dying, dammit! Don't be an asshole now -"

 _"Fuck off!"_ Steve spat back and Clint froze at the sheer agony on Tony's face,  _"I said I.Don't. Care. Dammit why don't you ever -"_

Clint shut the comm off with a violent crunch of his fist and almost threw it away in distaste. He couldn't listen anymore and he definitely wouldn't subject Tony to that any longer.

"That fucking bastard," Clint hissed and turned his head to seethe at Tony, "He could have -- hey! Tony? Tony! Goddammit, Stark, no! Open your eyes, you idiot! Don't do this, man. Don't give up on me yet! Hey, hey c'mon Tony, please just hold it together. Tony? Tony!"

Tony had closed his eyes and Clint continued to alternate between yelling at him and stemming the blood. He didn't know how long they were trapped there and how long he had to watch Tony's blood run out from under him.

Finally, when a familiar roar sounded from nearby, Clint didn't think twice before yelling himself hoarse. 

He could hate himself and everyone else later. For now, he had to save Tony Stark. Clint would  _not_ become another person who had given up on him.

He waited till he heard footsteps running and kicking in his direction. When he heard Natasha's yell of his name, he felt his tension bleed out a bit. He answered her call and kept it up till the rubble was ripped off them by an enormously green and highly pissed Hulk.

"Clint, what the hell were you -"

"Tony," Clint cut Natasha sharply and the Russian glared but then looked down at the fallen genius. Her eyes lost a bit of the coldness and he saw her fear reflect in them before she regained composure.

Stalking forward, she took charge and barked orders into her comm. Within seconds the others trailed in and Thor had arrived to relieve Hulk off his rubble duty. Clint watched as the Hulk shrunk down to Bruce on shaky legs, eyes quickly zoning in on Clint with a horrified expression.

"Bruce.." Clint whispered because he couldn't get over the shock himself and Bruce seemed to get that. In a second the doctor took composure and joined Natasha on the floor, gently moving Clint aside and getting to work on Tony.

There were SHIELD agents, medics, sirens and stretchers all around him but Clint was still stuck in shock and pain. He couldn't get up till Coulson came in and crouched in front of him, staring at him calmly before putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Barton, come on," the agent told him in his unflappable voice that Clint had grown to obey even in his sleep. It didn't work the first two times but then Phil squeezed his shoulder lightly and Clint shuddered out a gasp as the cold of shock passed and reality sank in. On shaky legs, with Phil's support and Bruce's worried glances coming his way, Clint stood up and slowly hobbled his way to the medic van when he saw a flash of red,white and blue rush in.

The minute Clint saw Steve Rogers enter the ruin with wide-eyes, he felt the first lick of fury spark in him again. When he saw Barnes come in right on his heels, standing close to Steve and whispering something serious into his ear, Clint lost it.

Tony had trusted this man. Tony had  _loved_ this man. And this man had made him feel like shit when Tony was almost dying.

He could feel Phil holding his arm. He could hear him say something urgently and in warning. He could see Barnes' eyes land on him and widen in some sort of strange wariness. He could see Steve's eyes fixed on Tony. He could understand all this but all he could focus on were the sharp words Tony had heard before he lost consciousness.

_I don't care..._

With a bout of energy that he really shouldn't have possessed, Clint wrenched his hand free from Phil's hold and hobbled towards Steve, who finally seemed to look up from Tony and blinked at Clint, opening his mouth to say something.

Clint drew his fist back and punched him in his jaw, probably breaking a bone on his own hand. Steve didn't fall but his head did rear back and Barnes looked like he was going to come in between but Clint shot him a murderous look too.

"You're a piece of shit, Rogers," the archer hissed venomously in Steve's face, "And I hope you feel the pain you put him through. For the rest of your life."

"Barton, that's enough" Phil warned from behind but Steve looked furious before it bled into confusion and panic.

"Clint, what are you talking about?" he shot back and tried to move past him towards Tony only to be stopped by Clint again, "Clint! Let me go. I need to get to Tony. Right now."

"You will  **never** go near him again, you hear me?" Clint spat in Steve's face and sneered at Barnes when he stepped forward with a furious look, "Gonna take a shot at me, pretty boy? Go ahead. You don't scare me, you asshole."

"Clint..." Natasha's voice came from behind and Clint whirled around with blood-shot eyes.

"I don't care, Tasha," Clint said in a shaky but firm voice, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes at the vision of Tony being finally carried out, "I don't care what his authority or fucking powers or whatever shit is. He is  **not** getting near Tony. Not on my watch."

"What the fuck are you -" Steve stopped snarling when Clint snapped back to him with eyes so cold that Steve had to pause.

"You killed him, you fucking bastard," Clint whispered coldly and even in the rush around them everyone heard him clearly. Steve's eyes hardened and his jaw ticked.

"Clint, I don't know what your problem is but if you don't move right now -"

"He was fighting," Clint spoke over him, still cold and uncaring, "He was goddamned fighting to stay awake, to stay alive. Till we got though to you on the fucking comm. He opened up his heart to you, you son of a bitch. He was losing time, losing energy and maybe life, but all he wanted to do was tell you. How could you be such a heartless shit,  _Captain_? How  **could** you do this to the man who has been  **preparing** himself to be honest and communicative to you? How could you squash him like a bug when he fucking told you that he loved you? How fucking cold does a person have to be to be you, Rogers?!"

Steve looked furious in the beginning but by the second sentence he had paled and looked like somebody had gutted him. Clint didn't care though. He was blind to anybody's pain other than the man who's blood was still on his hands.

"I told you he was dying" Clint's voice cracked and he heard a short gasp behind him but he didn't care, "I told you he was dying and you...you really don't care?! Why, Rogers? Why couldn't you just lie if that was how you felt?! You could have just lied in that moment! He was dying and he heard you say that you don't care! What kind of worthless shit does that?! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!"

"That's enough" Phil said firmly and caught Clint by the shoulder, firmly guiding him away and Clint was too weak to fight him but he didn't shut his mouth.

"IF YOU HAD TO LOVE BARNES THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAD TONY ON, YOU BASTARD?!" Clint yelled as Phil dragged him away, still hysterical, "WHY COULDN'T YOU LIE?! YOU COULD HAVE SAVED HIM! HE LOVED YOU! YOU COULD HAVE  **SAVED HIM!** "

Phil managed to successfully drag Clint away and put him into another medical van, shutting the door as he entered with the archer. Natasha stood frozen in the spot where she had been and was staring at Steve. Bucky looked incredibly confused but also scared and hurt as he tried to get a look at Steve.

Steve just looked dead. He was staring ahead blankly, no sign of movement. His pale face had lost any chance of color and his eyes looked completely gone out of focus.

"Steve?" Bucky tried softly, "Stevie? We need to go. We need to go to the hospital, pal. Tony--we need to leave now."

Steve didn't reply. He didn't even look like he had heard Bucky. Natasha caught the ex-Winter Soldier's eyes and shook her head, walking forward towards Steve.

"Steve?"

Nothing.

"He needs you," she said lowly and firmly even though her lower lip was trembling and her hands were clenched into fists, "Right now, Tony needs you. I don't know what happened or how, but if you don't go, then you are failing him. Steve, you are the leader and he is part of this team. You need to take charge now."

"Stevie, Nat's right," Bucky said quietly, "We need to go now. Your fella needs you, punk."

When he didn't respond, Natasha raised her hand. For a second Bucky thought that she was going to slap him and tensed on behalf of Steve. When her hand cupped Steve's jaw, he saw the Captain shudder and lose his energy, almost falling back into Bucky.

"Tony--I need--I need Tony--" Steve whispered like he was breaking himself and Bucky squeezed his shoulder as Natasha forced Steve to look at her.

"He needs you too," she said firmly and he drew in a shaky breath, "Whatever happened, we need to fix it. C'mon Cap, you don't give up on your Tony, do you?"

The sentence worked its charm when Steve took another deep breath and steeled himself.

"Lets go" he said in a trembling but commanding voice and the two ex-assassins walked out beside him, offering silent support. Steve didn't say a word as he got into the van with them and they both shared a look over his head.

If whatever Clint said had even a nugget of truth, then they were going to be in for a long ride.

 


	2. In My Worst Hour

Steve was going to kill Tony.

Well, first he would hug the life out of him and kiss him till he was sure that they were both okay, but then he would kill him. With words that involved 'grounded' or 'benched' or even 'no sex'. 

He knew, he had always known that in their line of work, you couldn't really ensure complete safety or even partial but that didn't mean that you don't even try to keep yourself safe. Or let others keep you safe.

"Comms! Does anybody have their comm yet?!" he barked and cursed when a series of negative replies came back. This was the second time during this battle that both Clint and Tony had switched off their comm from the common line. Clint, he would let Banner handle him but Tony was going to be in deep trouble if he didn't fucking answer soon. Steve knew that he couldn't really pop a nerve from tension but when the man you love suddenly goes off the radar after a battle with bots and a fucking energy beam that was supposed to open another damned portal, Steve didn't think normal serum rules applied. He got it that Tony had been involved in the cut of the portal beam and he knew that there would be a long gloating of that for days. Honestly, he anticipated it because Tony didn't nearly think much of himself, no matter what facade he put on of being self-involved. They had been Avengers for years now and Steve felt his heart hurt whenever Tony casually remarked that he wasn't special enough or was replaceable. In Steve's eyes, there was and would be no one like Tony Stark, not even if cloning got perfected.

A man was not his looks or biology. A man was his heart and Tony's heart was like none other in Steve's opinion. He would never find someone else who could love, protect, care or fight like that man and Steve loved him for that so much that sometimes he felt that people could hear his own heart scream that.

He didn't care. He would damn well announce it to the world in a second but he couldn't really do something that Tony would be uncomfortable with. Which was why he felt guilty about this morning's fight. Well, more of aggressive bickering, but Steve knew that he could have pulled back. So what if Tony couldn't say the words? He said it in everything he did, every smile he sent Steve's way and every time he slept peacefully in Steve's arms. That was an honor and dream that Steve had never expected to be given years ago, when he had deemed himself lonely in the 21st century. With Tony, he never had that fear. Tony filled his silence with thoughts, numbers, words, music but most of all love. Steve didn't really need him to say the words out loud because he had long learnt that actions spoke louder than words.

Still, he did feel petty and needy sometimes and this morning had been a bad start on all fronts, which had led him to try and poke at Tony's grizzly side. He had wanted attention and some distraction. Tony had delivered it all. Sure, they had not cleared the air yet but Steve was going to do that first thing they got back home. In private, on their bed, where he could hear Tony's heatbeats and chide himself for thinking that Tony didn't say it. Of course he did, he said it with every heart beat.

To do all that, he needed to find his idiotic lover first. Who had gone and switched off his comm.

"Natasha! Anything?" he asked one last time and got a quiet no from her. Growling to himself, he pressed his finger to his ear again, _"_ Clint? Tony?!"

"Captain, we need you to focus on clearing the mess here right now," Maria Hill commanded as she came down from the chopper, "We've got our best team searching for Hawkeye and Iron Man. You need to stop wasting time on them right now."

Steve felt his blood boil at that. Waste time? Looking for his team-mates, his  _Tony_ was wasting time? What the hell! When Maria kept talking, despite Natasha's efforts to tell her to leave it, Steve lost his control for a bit.

"Shut up!"he shouted and Hill snapped her mouth shut, glaring at him. He really couldn't give a damn at the moment and shared a look with Sam who rolled his eyes. Unfortunately, Hill was either blind or completely off her rocker today because she continued her rant about the damage. When she spoke about the WSC taking disciplinary action if they kept going against SHIELD command, Steve clenched his jaw and whirled on her.

 _"_ I don't care" he spat and would have continued if Natasha hadn't shot him a warning look. Okay, so maybe he shouldn't say such things when the whole team could be affected but he knew that none of them really wanted to stay under the WSC's thumb right now. He would have let it go, he really would have, but then Hill spoke about Tony taking responsibility for the power outage of half the city.

"No fucking way" he warned tight and angry. Tony had  _saved_ the city again and these people were going to dump their problem on him? He knew how Tony got when blame came his way and he would not let this happen right now. When Maria opened her mouth again, he cut her off immediately.

"I said no, didn't I?" he said coldly, daring her to defy him on this if she wanted him to continue following SHIELD rules.

"Well, looks like things don't change at all," Bucky laughed bitterly, looking furious himself too, "Doesn't matter if it's a POW or a billionaire, does it? You just want to throw the blame of everything that goes wrong on somebody who tries their best to fight for the good."

"Bucky..." Steve said sadly and tried to convey his support through his look when his best friend looked over at him. He knew how much Bucky was wary of SHIELD, especially after they kept trying to screw him over when they first discovered his existence.

"Well, Mr. Barnes if you aren't willing to work under SHIELD then you'll find that there are a lot many people who aren't all that trusting of a reckless group of vigilantes who don't follow rules," Hill said coolly and Steve saw Bucky bristle and Sam bristle near him while Natasha fiercely spoke into her phone, glaring at Hill.

"Fuck off!" Steve spat back and stepped forward, in front of Bucky, "I said I. Don't. Care. Dammit why don't you ever look beyond your nose, Hill? I don't care what you do, I'm going to find _my_ team and then we'll talk. Now shove off."

"We got them!" Natasha said sharply when they heard Hulk's roar from a distance and Steve rushed past Hill to run in the direction of the sound. Natasha was quicker when Sam picked her up and flew but Steve and Bucky didn't care. They were fast enough with their speed.

By the time Steve got to the ruin, Nat and Bruce had already gone in. Sam was busy dealing with the medics outside and Bucky was right on Steve's heel. His eyes scanned the rubble and he quickly found the person he was looking for.

Steve's heart threatened to leap out of his body when he zoomed in on Tony's lifeless looking body covered in dented armor.  _No, not now, not Tony please..._

He was so focused on Tony that he didn't notice Clint till the archer was in his line of vision. God! The archer looked absolutely beat but it was the expression on his face that had Steve stilling. It wasn't of physical pain. It was as though Clint had been shaken by something much deeper. 

He tried to ask if everything was okay when Clint reared back and punched him in the jaw. Without holding back.

Steve felt Bucky bristle behind him but all he could think of was that Clint was in shock and some kind of trauma. Which meant that Tony was in a worse state. He tried to calm Clint down enough till he could be with Tony and was stunned at the vitriol thrown his way.

He felt his temper flare up when Clint ordered him not to go to Tony. Like hell he wouldn't! This was  _his Tony_ , his lover and partner. Clint could be a protective team-mate but he had no right to try stopping Steve from getting to his Tony. He spat the same thing and felt confused when Clint spat more vitriol his way.

And then the archer spoke about the comms. Steve felt like the world had dissolved and he was falling again. He heard the words 'loved you', 'dying', 'you don't care' and some more but all he could focus on was that the comm had been on. Tony had been there, listening to Steve. And Steve hadn't heard a word from him. He hadn't heard him ask or say anything but apparently Tony had heard everything Steve said.

Which he didn't say to Tony.

Which he said to  _Maria Hill._

He felt ice crawl up his feet slowly as his brain connected the dots and presented the result. Tony had gotten half-way though the comm, in a way that he could hear but he couldn't communicate anything. And he had thought that Steve was listening to him. That Steve was talking to him. Tony had been wounded, gasping for support and help when Steve had been fighting Hill. Tony had confessed his love for Steve when Steve had spat hatred at Hill. Tony had been wounded, much deeper than anything possible, by Steve's words and Steve had told Hill that he didn't care. Clint had tried to tell him that Tony was  **dying** and Steve had told Hill that he didn't care.

He had said it all to Hill and Tony had thought it was all for him. Tony thought that Steve didn't love him.

Tony thought that Steve  **didn't care** that Tony was  **dying**?! The ice was crawling up faster, rougher and jagged in its piercing of Steve's heart. Tony had been on his last hope and Steve had been the one to destroy it.

Clint was right, he thought in horror,  **Steve** had almost killed Tony.

He couldn't breathe. There was no air that his lungs could hold, no space for indignant defense in his heart. There was no pride to defend or misunderstanding to clear right now. Clint didn't know but that didn't matter. Clint didn't matter at the moment. 

Tony did. Tony, whom Steve loved more than everything, had lost consciousness thinking that Steve didn't love him. Tony, who guarded his heart with walls, had opened up and now thought that Steve didn't care. That Steve didn't know the worth of that gift, of the heart that Tony had offered. 

He couldn't listen anymore because his brain was buzzing with the thought that he had ruined everything. And then Clint yelled as he left, that Tony thought that Steve loved Bucky.

It was like somebody had ripped his heart out without numbing him. He couldn't feel anything. He didn't know if he deserved to but he really couldn't feel anything.

He could hear the buzz of Bucky's voice from behind and Natasha's voice from the front but he didn't hear the words. What did it matter, he thought hysterically, how could it matter when he had delivered the final blow to his Tony? The man he wanted to protect against the world had been hurt by him.

When he felt Natasha cup his jaw, it was like a slap to the face and he felt the ice shatter with a shudder. He heard her remind him that he had a duty right now. Towards Tony. He had to be there for him, to bring him back. Because despite the fact that Steve might have pushed him over the edge, it was always Steve who could bring Tony back. It was always Steve to whom Tony came back, without fail, time after time. 

He shoved his self-pity to the side and hardened his bleeding heart. This wasn't about him. This was about Tony. Saving Tony. For that, Steve would walk through any number of battles, even if it was about waging one with himself.

He walked out of the place with his best friend and his wisest confidante by his side. They had to bring back Tony.

And then Steve would give him his heart again and again, for however many times Tony needed to shatter it to trust him again.

There was no other way. There was no other option.

Tony was always the only option for Steve.


	3. In My Nightmares And Your Dreams

Rhodey didn't know who looked worse in the hospital. He had rushed in to see one patient but now he could see that there were three broken people who needed healing.

Clint Barton, tucked beside Natasha, his face tucked in her neck looked like a haunted man. His entire body was high-strung and he was coiled tight to spring and hurt anyone who came his way. His hurt was emanating from his curled arms, hunched in shoulders and tucked in legs - everything showing that he was trying to hold it in badly. Natasha was whispering something fast and fluent into his hair and Rhodey was reminded of a tableau of a hurt bird and a calming breeze. She couldn't heal him, he knew that and he knew that Natasha knew that. When Rhodey had flown in with an urgency that always came when Friday patched him emergency calls, he had been intercepted by Coulson befoe anybody else could speak. 

He really was glad about that. If it had been anybody else, then Rhodey would have gotten only one side of the story, which would have put him in a rage. Now, knowing the entire story? Rhodey couldn't decide whom to feel sorry for and kick back into shape. Clint obviously was hurting due to his own misunderstanding and repressed rage that somehow he had become instrumental in Tony hearing all that nonsense. He was also feeling shame and guilt for having thought so poorly of Steve but couldn't bring up the strength or courage to do something about that.

Tony was in physical pain right now and Rhodey was steering of thinking about the emotional part because that way lay hell, something they would have to deal with later. He knew how complicated Tony was and how layered his trust issues were. A misunderstanding or not, Tony had heard his nightmare come true in the worst of states; something people didn't easily forget. Rhodey knew that the after-effects of this would be between Steve and Tony, not on the others because those two were the only ones who could resolve this. 

Steve was probably the worst hit right now, Rhodey thought as he saw the Captain sit stoically between Sam and Bucky, not letting any emotion get onto his face. Rhodey knew all about internalizing and Steve Rogers was the champion at it. He had internalized every hot, every bruise and every pain of his for so long that people forgot that he could even feel it. With Barnes, Steve would at the very least show fractions of being normal but even then he wouldn't show pain, not to his best friend who had loads of it himself. It was only Tony who could strip him bare of his facades with a look, a word, a touch or even a gesture. Tony had always been good at getting people to show their true colors but with Steve, it was like the genius could see through his walls and find the problem. Steve had fought that at first, worrying that his vulnerability would lead to his downfall. But Tony had bowled them all out when he had been more careful and kind with the kid from Brooklyn, understanding him better than people ever expected him to. Maybe it was because Tony had finally understood that Captain America came  _from_  Steve Rogers' heart and soul, or maybe it was because Tony could find some part of himself in the brave but broken guy who felt alone in the largest of crowds. Something in their insecurities and truths had brought them together and Rhodey had seen that grow in strength, through friendship, trust and love. 

Now, to see that things had or could be shaken but such a misunderstanding was painful. But it was on Steve and Tony's shoulders to get through this and Rhodey knew that they would both find strength when it came to each other. 

"Coffee?" a voice came from beside him and he turned to see Pepper with two cups of hot liquid. Rhodey picked up one from her hand and shot her a small smile as she settled into the chair next to him. 

"You know, I think I'm going to put a new category of holidays in my calendar called 'Avenger Days'," Pepper mused dryly and Rhodey raised an eyebrow, "What? Seriously. The number of times we visit the hospital with a new 'death defying' incident is almost enough to make us regulars here."

"Your sense of humor is getting as bad as Tony's," Rhodey commented dead-panned and Pepper snorted as she sipped the bad coffee, "Don't laugh, I think Barton will kill you if you laugh during his telenouvella dramatics."

"Oh please," Pepper said with a small eye-roll, "I'm practically an expert on Tony's near-death experiences by now and I  _know_  that he's gonna come out of it. Clint's just feeling guilty because he thinks it happened because of him and Steve is feeling guilty because...he's Steve."

Rhodey nodded at that but shot Pepper a side-look after gulping down his coffee.

"You really think he's gonna be okay?"

Pepper faltered in her mask and stared at her coffee cup for a second before muttering into it.

"He really doesn't have any other choice, does he?" she said firmly and Rhodey could see the fear in the way her hands shivered for a moment. But Pepper always believed in keeping her calm when it came to Tony nowadays. She had long ago understood that she couldn't shield him from every danger but it had also come to her realization that he would fight anybody to survive. He simply needed a good motivation and she knew that motivation never came better than Steve Rogers.

Tony would make it, even if to fight with Steve about their misunderstanding. Rhodey believed that he could see that Pepper was counting on it too.

*************

Bruce was worried.

Well, when usually one of his team-mates landed in a coma, it was usually a point of worry for him but this time it wasn't just for Tony. It was also for Steve and Clint.

"Mind if I steal him?" he murmured to Natasha and noted Clint still on her shoulder. The Russian though simply raised an eyebrow at Bruce who kept his gaze trained on her calmly. After a minute she muttered something low to Clint and eased his head off her shoulder, getting up and nodding to Bruce before walking away.

"I don't wanna talk to you," Clint grunted and Bruce raised an eyebrow as he sat down in the seat Natasha had vacated.

"That's good," Bruce shrugged calmly, "I think we've had a lot of 'talking' this time, don't you?"

Clint winced at that and clenched his jaw but Bruce simply sighed and placed a hand over his clenched fist.

"Clint, it's fine, it's over and it's okay" he said quietly but the archer snorted and shot him a sharp glare.

"Really, Banner? That's what you think?"

"You know, I'm starting to think there's a pattern here. You call me Bruce when you want my attention and Banner when you're trying to act obnoxious."

"I'm always obnoxious, Doc. Didn't know that?"

"Well, okay, maybe I did," Bruce nodded with a small smirk and Clint huffed, "Clint, it was good that it was you."

"Okay, is this your way of saying that you're glad I'm taking one for the team?" Clint raised an eyebrow and Bruce shot him a look that made him pipe down.

"I mean it, imagine if it was me instead of you," Bruce shrugged and Clint raised both his eyebrows, "We wouldn't have a Captain right now, would we?"

"Babe, don't get me wrong, but if it was you there, then the Big Guy wouldn't have bothered with comms," Clint said slowly and Bruce huffed a chuckle, "The rubble would have been dust before seconds."

"Okay, maybe not me, but imagine the War Machine," Bruce said and Clint stared at him before chuckling and relaxing.

"I just had a visual of Rhodey going all Terminator on Steve," Clint said and Bruce grinned, bumping his shoulder against Clint's, "By the way, I totally like the Big Guy better than you. He would definitely save me from Cap's angry Tarzan regime when this is over. Also, the whole green look is so much better."

"Yeah, you say that now but I distinctly remember you saying that my goth look was better," Bruce reminded with a prim sniff.

"Or the Jigglypuff pajama look"

"Or the punk rock drummer look"

"Well, lets just say that I like the look of  _your birthday suit_ the best," Clint murmured against Bruce's ear and the doctor cleared his throat but tightened his hold on his boyfriend's hand.

"If you consider a proper apology to Steve, I'll consider that look for tomorrow night," Bruce shot back and Clint leaned back with wide eyes before groaning.

"You're the worst."

"I know, baby. I love me too," Bruce petted Clint's hair and chuckled when the archer mouthed curses against his neck.

Bruce was still worried but as long as everyone was together and open in their communication, they would get through.

*************

Steve understood why Sam was stuck to him like glue but it really wasn't working.

Bucky had understood within the first two hours that Steve wasn't going to talk or share anything. He had learnt a long time ago that when Steve clammed up, there was nothing to do but give him space. Sam though, didn't really believe in leaving Steve to his devices, especially when he looked like he was going to tear down anyone who came before him.

"He's a genius, you know?" Sam said casually and Steve sighed internally at another attempt at conversation, "He knows all about tech failures and gadgets."

Steve kept his eyes fixed on the file he had gotten from the doctors about Tony's injuries.

"I mean, sure, he might throw you out of the room the first couple of times," Sam continued and Steve could see Bucky sigh next to him, "But that doesn’t mean that he won’t understand, you know?”

Bucky muttered something that sounded suspiciously like ‘durak’ under his breath before getting up to go get some coffee and Sam stared at his retreating figure before sighing.

“I’m not helping, am I?”

“For the first time ever, nope,” Steve said honestly and Sam punched him in the shoulder with a mock-grumble.

“Fine, fine, sulk away in all your glory,” Sam rolled his eyes and clapped Steve on the shoulder before going over to annoy Bucky with his doubts.

“You need to make a strategy” he heard a voice say and looked up to see Natasha standing in front of him with a small smile on her face.

Steve raised an eyebrow at her before looking back down at his file.

“This isn’t a battle,” he replied quietly and she chuckled before settling herself next to him, on Bucky’s chair.

“It isn’t? So you mean you’re not planning your entire week when he wakes up, so that he doesn’t hide himself in the workshop?” she asked slyly and he shot her a look that didn’t faze her one bit.

“Natasha…”

“Look, this isn’t about you,” she said bluntly and he remembered why he held such appreciation for her friendship, “This isn’t about Clint either. This is about Tony and his issues. He heard something that must have been his nightmare and the circumstances in which he heard it weren’t all that great either. It’s not going to go away soon and it will affect him. But he’s also the guy who believes in solving problems and between your tenacity and his mind, you’ll find a way out. This _is_ a battle, Steve and you two will need to work together to win.”

“I half expected you to go Pat Benatar right now,” Steve quipped and Natasha smirked before humming _Love is a battlefield_ dramatically like the troll she could be.

“Well, get working and form your plan, Captain,” she shot back with a lazy smile as she leaned back to rest her head on the wall, “Because that guy hates sleeping for too long and he’s gonna be up and running any time now.”

Steve is thankful that she doesn’t mention ‘coma’ and keeps the comparison light. Nodding at her, he goes back to reading the file, mentally resolving to sort out this mess before Tony could make some horrid decision in his misunderstanding.

 

 


	4. In Sickness and Health

Tony woke up after a longer period than was expected by the doctors. In that period of time, Clint had suffered a broken nose, Bucky had a rapidly healing bruise on his jaw, Natasha had lost a knife and Bruce had hulked out twice.

Steve hadn't reacted once, except for glaring at Bucky and Clint when they had gotten into a scuffle on who was to be blamed for the whole thing.

Tony woke up to a much more peaceful picture. One of Bruce Banner's face grinning down at him. After the now familiar routine of ice-chips, futilely resisted check-ups and agreement to not sign out AMA in deference to a warning from Thor and Bruce's Hulk voice, Tony had finally opened his mouth to ask one question. Just one question.

"Steve?"

There was a flutter of activity outside when the demand was conveyed and Clint kept switching between trying to apologize to Steve and stop him from going inside. In the end, Bruce had to unceremoniously dump him onto Thor's lap and politely request the God to keep the squirming archer in check till he came back. Clint's protests were only mollified when Bruce gave him a quick peck on the lips before following Steve inside. Natasha bit back a laugh at Clint's scowl whereas Bucky had no qualms laughing obnoxiously.

Clint developed a new appreciation for Sam when he hit Bucky on the head with a rolled up magazine.

Steve recognized the look on Tony's face even before the genius opened his mouth. it was the 'it's not you, it's me' look that every person who got dumped had the privilege of getting.

He steeled himself and spoke up before Tony took that chance.

"You and comms have a horrible relationship," he said with a forced smile and Tony blinked with his mouth open, clearly caught in confusion. Steve grabbed the oppotunity and continued as he moved towards the bed slowly. "It's either that or the fact that we need to upgrade our comms to a better quality or have spare comms with us at all times. Because if this happens again, then I swear I'm going to make you all wear old-age talkies in your gear and it will not look good on your armour but I don't really care. Also, we need to get Clint to join Bruce's meditation schedule maybe. Either that or he needs to go through some analytical tests because his common sense is shot to hell for all I see."

"Steve, I think we should -" is all Tony is able to get out of his mouth when Steve leans over and places a hand on his mouth gently.

"No" he said firmly but with a soft look in his eyes and Tony's own eyes widened before narrowing. He pointedly looked at Steve's hand and the supersoldier raised an eyebrow in challenge but did take it off in deference to holding Tony's hand instead.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked finally, sounding hurt and confused in ways that were stabbing at Steve's heart but he kept his resolve and spoke up.

"I'm trying to explain myself before you decide that you want to break up with me," Steve said quietly and Tony struggled lightly to get his hand away from Steve's grasp. Steve tightened his hold, "Please Tony, just give me five minutes and I'll leave after that. I promise."

Tony looked like he was going to argue something in Steve's terribly pained and worried eyes made him bite back a scathing retort and he gave a jerky nod as permission.

Steve took a deep breath and thanked the Fates for the chance before he launched into explaining.

He explained about Maria, about the ridiculous fight and his loss of temper. He explained about the failed comm, about the desperation he felt when he couldn't get through to Tony or Clint. He explained about Hulk reaching them first, the collapsed building giving way to their big green friend's efforts. He explained about Bruce and Natasha helping Tony. He explained about Clint, making sure to keep any accusations or frustrations out of his voice at that part. He explained about Coulson. He explained about the entire mess-up the way he gave a debrief report - elaborately and factually.

"I love you," he said quietly after all the explanations, meeting Tony's eyes with desperate ones of his own, "I love you, Tony, and I cannot think about stopping that ever. I know that I spent seventy odd years under ice and that I'm from a different era altogether, but that doesn't change the concept of love. I can spend the rest of my life tying to convince you of this fact but the truth is that nothing I say or do will ever be enough to prove it. Because I've loved you for so long that it isn't in one shape or form that can be shown. I've loved you as a friend, as a team-mate, as my lover, as a lodestar, as my grounding point, as my support system, as my motivation, as my challenger, and as my cheerleader. I've loved you through my worst, through my best and everything in between, Tony and I'm not good with words that will put all of that in the perfect way possible. I love you for who you are and for who you see me as. You were the first person in this new world who saw me as something other than Captain America and you respected Steve Rogers, you befriended the kid from Brooklyn instead of the serum-pumped soldier. You gave me a home, Shellhead and nothing, nothing in my life will ever compare to that gift. I cannot prove all this to you because there isn't enough time, perhaps not even an entire lifetime. Every time I think I have found a way, you do something that makes me want to search for more words. You made me realize that I don't have to be perfect to be good, and you give me a chance every day to hold on to that imperfection that I thought was a flaw."

Steve paused and breathed in shakily before smiling helplessly.

"I like being with you, Tony, and honestly, if I started giving you reasons why then we'd have a list of mundane things that you'll say are nothing special," Steve tried teasing before getting back serious and softly rubbing circles into Tony's hand, "I like you, Tony Stark, for everything you are and that is not going to stop. Not when somebody comes back to my life or when somebody leaves me. You are not replaceable in my heart or life, Shellhead. And honestly? The way you've taken over all of my heart, there's no space for anybody else either."

Steve saw Tony breathe in with a choked gasp and had to stop himself from gathering the man in his arms when he saw his favorite brown eyes glisten with tears. He loved Tony but he couldn't make the man rush things in the heat of the moment. He would give Tony time to think and process everything. Love wasn't momentary, according to Steve, and the right to confess it at your own pace was a sanctity. 

"My five minutes are up, darling," he whispered with a small smile through his own barely contained tears and stood up, leaning over to gently kiss Tony's forehead, "I love you, honey. Get some rest for me, please. I'll come back for your answer later."

Tony let out a small sound when Steve brushed his hair off his forehead but didn't stop Steve when the Captain slowly left the room with one last soft and lingering glance at his sweetheart.

It hurt, it hurt so much to leave Tony but Steve knew that there was no other way he could hold on.

With Tony, things were always in reverse and Steve had long learnt that he liked it that way.

*********

"So...I punched Captain America" is the first sentence that left Clint's mouth when he came to visit Tony and honestly, with all that was going on around him, that seemed like a suitable tipping point.

Ribs protesting and sides aching but ignored, Tony threw his head back and laughed. He laughed till there were tears in his eyes, till there was no air to choke on and till his stomach screamed at him to stop.

Clint, the utter  _dick_ , simply threw a chocolate pudding cup at Tony that Bruce thankfully intercepted. Because Tony isn't allowed to eat pudding yet and that was essentially what he would have done if the article had reached him.

"I cannot  _believe_ I ever defended your virtue to Captain fucking America," Clint groused when Tony stopped laughing and that earned him a snort.

"What virtue?" Tony winked and Bruce shook his head, muttering something about liking idiots with no sense.

"Yeah, yeah, you laugh now but when I come all bloody and bruised every day after being pummeled into the mat in what he calls 'sparring' and I call mountain man falling onto my fragile body, you'll regret it," Clint grunted and plucked the pudding cup from Bruce's hand with a scowl at Tony.

"Who, me? Regret you getting punched and thrown around? Why ever would you think that?" Tony batted his eyes and Clint flipped him the finger maturely.

"Because  _I_ am your new best friend. And best best friend in the world, for your information," Clint sniffed airily and sat himself on the edge of Tony's bed.

"Please tell Rhodey that. I'd love to see the expression on his face and his fist mark on yours," Tony snorted but playfully poked at Clint's lap with his foot, "Also, you're  _so_ not the best best friend in the world."

"Oh please," Clint rolled his eyes, "Like you can name anybody else who would punch Steve's pretty face for your ugly ass."

"Uh, yeah,  **R.H.O.D.E.Y** ," Tony shot back with a smug grin, "He almost did it after the first time Cap reamed me for my 'inappropriate behavior towards dames during press conferences'. That was  _years_ ago and he had never met Christine in person."

"Psh, almost doing it and doing it has a difference," Clint waved his hand dismissively and Tony considered it for a minute before shrugging.

"I cannot honestly figure out which one of you has a bigger mental problem," Bruce commented sagely and Tony and Clint shared a look before pointing at each other. Bruce sighed before smiling at their antics and kept Tony's update chart back, turning to look at him properly. "You're gonna have to talk to Steve eventually, you know?"

Tony opened his mouth, took in Bruce's stern glance and shut it with a sigh.

"I know," he sighed, fiddling with the blanket tossed on him by Natasha when she had left the room a few hours back, "I know but...I'm on sick leave right now."

"Sick leave," Bruce repeated dryly and shared a look with Clint who was biting his lips in an attempt to keep back a laugh, "Sick leave? Seriously?"

"It's a thing," Tony waved his hand vaguely, turning to Clint and prodding his hip with a foot, "Tell him, Birdbrain."

"It's a thing," Clint nodded solemnly and Bruce breathed in deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Ticking time bomb," he muttered under his breath and shook his head, "Ticking glitter time bomb is what we are."

"You looooove us," Tony sing-songed and Clint pawed at the doctor who huffed out a chuckle.

"You two are going to end up being the death of someone, some day," he said on a sigh and flicked Clint's forehead before taking his things to leave, "Behave or I'll sic Pepper and Natasha onto you. Both of you."

He left the room with chuckles to the shouts of "Traitor!" and "Stone-hearted betrayer!" from his favorite people.

"Okay, seriously, what's the plan?" Clint asked as soon as Bruce was out of sights, watching Tony with uncharacteristically serious eyes. Tony frowned at him and shrugged in what he hoped was a casual manner.

"What're you talking about?"

Clint narrowed his eyes and before Tony could comprehend, his toes were being pinched viciously by calloused fingers.

"Ow, asshole!" Tony hisses but Clint simply stares at him till Tony huffs and averts his eyes, "Look, just let it go, alright? There's no plan."

"Tony," Clint's voice is serious and tinged with worry this time, "Look man, I get that you're having issues and everything right now, but you gotta understand. It wasn't what we thought it was. It was just a -"

"Comm problem, yes, I know," Tony mumbled and Clint gave him an unimpressed look.

"Exactly. So.."

"So what?"

"So, what are we gonna do about it?" Clint waved his hand around dramatically and Tony rolled his eyes.

" **We** are not gonna do anything about it," he pointed out and continued before he could be interrupted, " **You** are in enough trouble as it is with your dramatic punching and stuff.  **You** are gonna straighten out your mess and make it up to Cap before Coulson or Hill chalks this up to broken dynamics of the team or shit. Knowing Cap, he won't make it a huge deal and you'll be fine with one or two training sessions but you have to do it immediately. No, Clint, listen to me. This isn't college. Trust me, I know how weird it is that  **I'm** saying it but I mean it. Once the media gets a whiff of this, they'll blow it out of proportion and make it look like you and I have an affair. Which will lead to Bruce's name being dragged in and both of us don't want that, do we? Don't get any more involved than I've already gotten you. This is my mess. I'll take care of it."

Clint looked like he was going to disagree but Tony pressed his foot against the archer's leg warmly.

"Trust me, Clint," he said quietly and it was only during serious moments that they ever used each other's first names. So Clint nodded and launched into a distracting story about the latest problem that Reed had brewed up, because that was one topic that always got Tony to debate and gripe.

They don't solve the actual problem, but hell, Clint was always better with distractions than solutions. And Tony seemed to be satisfied with that right now.

******

It's Rhodey in the end who bites the bullet. Something that not even Pepper had been able to do with her own brand of bull-headedness.

"Do you want him to stay or leave?" Rhodey entered Tony's room with his blunt question, looking as calm as every day. Tony blinked before clearing his throat.

"Hi, sugarplum, looking snazzy today. Hot date? What's her na-"

"Do you want him to stay or leave?" Rhodey cuts through Tony's ramble softly and Tony has never been able to shy his gaze away from Rhodey. Not in MIT, not during his horrible 90-00 decade, not in the hot desert of Afghanistan, not with palladium poisoning his heart, not while he died, not while Rhodey almost died and certainly not now. Rhodey had never asked Tony inane questions like how he was 'feeling' or if he was 'hurt' or other things that people usually did. Rhodey didn't need to ask them. He knew Tony. He knows what deflection means, how much of a master Tony is at it and what their friendship means to Tony. That is why he is never reluctant to be honest to the genius. He never flinches from delivering honesty bluntly because that is the only way to make Tony see things.

Rhodey had always been Tony's family, more than his actual one. He could be a mother-hen, an embarrassing Dad-jokes spouting wingman, a fiercely protective brother, a no-nonsense guide but above all, Rhodey was his rock. His unchanging and constant core that kept Tony sane through his own insanity. He didn't believe in coddling Tony but he also didn't ever leave him unprotected if within his possibility. James Rhodes was Tony Stark's best mistake and habit, one he had always thanked his 14 year old drunk self for.

So when Rhodey sat beside his bed and patiently looked at him, asking him a simple but direct question, Tony couldn't avoid him.

"I don't want him to leave," he answered finally and Rhodey nodded, simply nodded like that was enough.

"Do you love him?"

"Yes"

"Do you trust him?"

"No" the answer comes so easily to his mouth that Tony is horrified for a second but his mouth continues talking, "not right now, but I don't--I  _do_ trust him but not right now."

Rhodey nodded again, like he understood that insane sentence. Which could be true, because if anybody could understand Tony's nonsense at the moment, it was Rhodey.

"Do you have any problem with Barnes being here?" there was no judgement or infliction in the question, something that only Rhodey and Pepper could do with Tony.

"No," the word comes smoothly because Tony really doesn't have a problem with Bucky. 

Rhodey accepted that and leaned forward in his chair, not touching Tony but staying open if Tony wants to touch him.

"Steve loves you," he began bluntly but held Tony's gaze with understanding eyes, "I saw it before and I see it now too. Now, I'm going to tell you the problem and you tell me if it's right, okay? You don't trust that he could love you but you were ready to confess that you loved him, thinking that it would make Steve happy. But you weren't really ready for it, because you have a problem with feeling secure after you've let out a vulnerability about yourself. Especially to someone you've been fed a different opinion about from your dad. You were going to do it anyway but then when you heard Steve throw away your words, you are stuck in a room with no window. Your brain is telling you that you've shown a vulnerability that cannot be taken back and that thought has you locked into yourself. So now, you're having trouble trusting yourself or Steve, because you don't know how to equalize that vulnerability with a strength. Is any of this right?"

Tony kept silent but his silence was belied by the affirmation in his eyes, that Rhodey could read quite well. 

"Tell me I'm wrong," Tony asked in a quiet voice because if Rhodey told him he was wrong then he would have another opinion to weigh in, right?

"Why? I'm not the one who's living with your head and heart. I don't get to decide if you're right or wrong for feeling what you're feeling, Tones," Rhodey shrugged with a small smile and Tony sighed.

"Why am I such a mess?" he mused bitterly and Rhodey finally reached out to snag Tony's hand.

"Because you're Tony Stark. And you make mess work," Rhodey said simply and Tony huffed a begrudging laugh at the answer, "Now, as much as I am impressed that you stayed in here for this long, I'm actually worried that you'll make a secret mad dash in the night if you stay any longer. So, your discharge papers are ready and we're leaving in an hour."

Tony grinned at that and felt it come easy for the first time since he had woken up. This was why Rhodey was the best best friend in the world, he decided and Rhodey's smirk said that he agreed.


	5. In Love And Laughter

Steve surprisingly doesn't invade the workshop the minute Tony enters it. Tony doesn't know if he should be relieved or upset by it.

He settles for being curious but that slowly trickles down when he gets absorbed in working on his suit schematics, studying the damage of the last hit.

It takes five hours before Steve makes an appearance and Tony honestly expects him to drag Tony off, complaining about rest and stress and other rhyming words. Steve simply deposits a plate of juicy looking sandwiches and kisses Tony's cheek before leaving with a parting reminder of taking his meds.

Tony chalks it up to Steve being careful after their almost-break up.

After a week of it though, he begins to feel curious. Steve doesn't avoid him or become negligent. He remains himself, the grumpy cat-meets-shy and sincere boyfriend that Tony had fallen in love with. But he doesn't cling or hog Tony's space like expected. 

Like every mystery, this one intrigues Tony too.

Steve doesn't shy away from signs of affection but he also doesn't instigate sex in the bedroom. Tony doesn't question it because he's still a bit off from the whole whirlwind but he does add this to the list of things he is noticing about Steve.

The list grows with every time Steve doesn't say 'I love you' in words but Tony hears it in actions. He hears it when Steve lets him cuddle his cold toes into warm calves. He hears it when Steve doesn't ask why Tony snapped at a reporter in public, though nobody knows that he had done it because the question had been incredibly offensive about Steve. He hears it when Steve asks about the armour upgrades and genuinely listens. He hears it when Steve doesn't waste his time in trying to prove himself to Tony but does prove it nonetheless. 

He hears it in silence and that fills some kind of a hole in Tony's heart.

On a cold December's night, three months after the incident, Tony whispers into Steve's chest.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes" the simple answer comes without pause and without any added explanations. Tony doesn't hear a similar question from Steve and finds himself falling in love a bit more.

Clint patches up with Steve over time, because Clint has his own issues and his trust had been shaken to a deep level too. Steve doesn't give in too easily and both of them have some long conversation in the gym for an hour before they come back up and Tony sees Clint nod at Steve with a small but genuine smile after that.

It looks like respect and Tony falls in love a bit more.

Tony learns of Natasha and Bucky during a movie night when the guy cuddles into her neck and mumbles old Russian endearments and Natasha doesn't protest to the PDA. She does look at Tony the next morning with a challenging gaze but the genius simply offers her coffee.

She doesn't force him to open up about his own love life and he falls in love a bit more.

It's during another alien attack, seven months after the incident, that Tony finds the right words to say. Mid-battle.

"Tony, sound off," Steve commands when they are through phase one of the plan and Tony is so wired up and seamless in his work that he doesn't think twice before answering.

"All limbs in place, honey. Love you."

There's a short pause on the comm and Tony realizes that he had just said the words on the common line, for everyone to hear. He doesn't get a chance to panic though, when Steve replies.

"Love you too. Now, get your ass to 41st on the double and turn some aliens to ash."

Three hours later, when they finally win the battle and no portals are opened, Tony finds Steve walking up to him in his dirty uniform.

"So" Steve said calmly and Tony met his brilliantly sincere blue eyes hopefully.

"So" he replied vaguely with a shrug and Steve stared at him for a minute, searching for something. He must have found it because he shot Tony that small smile of his that not many people saw openly.

"Comm worked well," Steve commented and Tony snorted.

"Yeah, I upgraded them," he agreed and Steve grinned wider.

"Debrief?" he asked like he was talking about going home and Tony grinned back with a nod.

"Sure, what the hell," he shrugged because maybe this was the truth. In their lives, in their complicated messes, maybe debrief was home and the comms were love letters. Maybe they would never have the perfect romantic set up or rosy pictures to swear by.

But whatever they had, Tony loved that more than anything he could think of.

And that was all he needed to trust.

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot believe that I worked on another fic when I have so many WIPs in line. Sigh! Anyway, please do let me know your feedback on this? Love you all <3


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